Tahun 2015
10 years ago
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
lama sungguh tak update.dah tak tau nak cerita apa. kadang2 dok pk, yang aku update ni, benda2 yg terlalu privacy atau tak. lepas kawen ni rase malas yg teramat nk update blog. maybe sebab tanggungjawab dh berganda. kalau dulu gosok baju untuk aku je, skarang gosok baju untuk H skali. masak pon gitu, aku ni jenis tolak batu ngn kayu je. H mmg jenis tak kisah mkn megi hari2 pon takpa...tapi aku laa yg mithali sangat tak sampai hati bg dia mkn megi hari2...klu selang sehari takpa..hahahah... eh megi2 pon bukan sebarang megi tau...ade sayur, bawang, cilipadi, telur segala..
apa lagi nak update ye?
oh aku dah tukar keje. lepas raya hari tu dh start kat tempat baru. tapi ni dh ade rase nak tukar kerja lagi.hahaha. ntah laa, aku mcm tak berapa hepi dgn beberapa perkara kat sini. terlalu rama bizi bodi ni aku rimas juge. aku ni style, kau buat kerja kau, aku buat kerja aku. if u need help, then ask! i ll try to help. tapi kalu org ske cucuk2 ni...me dont like. jadi kalu sesapa rase nk offer aku kerja, boleh email aku. dr jawatan bibik sampai la ke jawatan ceo, aku x kisah, nnt aku bg cv aku.
lupa plak, 29 oct aritu anniversary aku yg pertama. H bawak kuar mkn, hadiah anniversary pon in advance aku dh pilih. hahahaha. nasib laa dapek laki tak lomantik...x larat nk guide dh...janji dia hepi, aku hepi udoh lerr...bwk aku kuar g mkn pon aku hepi.
cite pasal makan, lately ni aku makan byk gila macam org bela saka kekdahnye. aku taktaula ni efek hormon ke apa kan...but since im on fertility treatment, ntah hape pil aku kna mkn, aku rasa sebab tu kot selera membuak... pasrah je laaa...
oh cerita pasal fertility treatment, i started off quite early, 7 months lps kawen sudah jumpe gynae. bukan aku tak sabar (eh mmg tak sabar nk dpt bby), tapui sbb since akwen hormon tak menentu....irregular period. so H insist aku jumpe gymae time tu. and luckily we went for an early test. so taklah aku buang masa tanpa usaha dgn fertility treatment. ok laa im diagnosed with PCOS. sapa tak tau boleh tanya pokcik gugel :)
the thing with fertility/infertility treatment is always been an emotional journey utk aku dan H. ade masa2 emo tak tentu hala. aku ler yg emo, H tukang pujuk. tapi aku tau deep inside he's trying hard to control his emotion. bile every time tak berjaya, aku mcm down tahap gaban...tapi this cycle aku rase cm aku dh tough sket...sket je laaa...tp xde laa nk nagis bagai mcm sblm2 ni. kadang2 rase bersalah yang amat. ye laa kan aku yg prob. huahuahua... aritu cerekarama kt tv3, anzalna, fauziah ghous dgn laki tu apa nama ntah lupa... first wife x leh pregnant, so suh laki kawen blk dgn ex gf dulu. tahan emosi je aku tgk ceta tu weyyyy. and rase nk lempang jantan tak sadar diri tu. tp aku senyap je laa sbb tgh tahan air mata. H mcm tau2 plak...terus dia ckp.."haaaaa jgn nk suh dia buat benda bukan2 mcm 1st wife dlm ceta ni" ....ehhhh dlm hati aku, bile plak aku nk bg dia kawen lagi satu kannnnnn...perasan...chait.
tapi...andai kata..andai katalahh...satu hari nanti aku terpaksa berkorban...ntah laa. huishhh takmo pk lah gitu. kan dh bergenang air mata ni. tadi baru je kata tough skit skang...chait. ok pergi makan! food will make u happy, regardless!
kena lebih muhasabah diri. amalan terlalu kurang....nak minta dgn Tuhan pon sangat segan. tapi minta juga. jd ya, kna lebih kan amalan. tingkat prestasi, elakkan kontroversi..ok bai
Thursday, August 2, 2012
no more sad story...
as today is the beginning of a new leaves for baby IYAD NAUFAL.
congratulation my dearest friend nur mazlina and husband, norazman.
cant wait to visit the newborn :)
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
a dear friend who just had a miscarriage...
The world may never notice
If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.
The little one we long for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
Monday, July 23, 2012
just installed this app.will write more later
Friday, July 20, 2012
gate to happiness is to be HAPPY.
love yourself and hate no others.
be grateful but not regretful.
smile and make the world smile with you.
somebody had once told me that i am so lucky that i met H and now that we are happily married. lucky? NO. destined? YES.
my bestfriends said that i am lucky to have an engineer husband who is handsomely paid. to my disagreement, i met H when he was out of job for almost 8 months.
sincerely, i dont believe in luck. i work hard to achieve what i want. but i always have faith in Allah, for destiny and fate. as where and when, once He said 'kun fayakun'.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
lps kawen ni kan...badan aku asik berangin semacam.akn keluar angin dgn cara sendawa smp tersedu2.
aritu shue ade ckp, mkn habbatussauda elok utk org yg try nk dpt bby.so aku pon bli le sebotol.aku bli jenis minyak punya sebab kapsul n serbuk dh hbs.blasah je la kannn...tp los seminggu lbh mkn, mmg rs perbezaan kt bdn.
aku dh kurang sangattt berangin.so sapa yg kuat angin bdn tu, blh la try mkn habbatussauda ni
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
bloghopping sana sini. since tgl lagi sebulan lebih je aku kat company ni, kerja2 pon dh tak bnyk..more to handing over dekat my exec. im not sure when is the new manager will join this company, but heard from the HR, my superior dh request utk advertise for the position. so if ade reader yg minat nk apply, hehehe tgu la if PAAB ade buat job opening.
neway, aku sedeh lah hari ni bkn pasal resign tu. tapi pasal aku baca blog2 org2 yg try nk dpt baby. haaa termasuk la aku. aku ni baru 8 bln kahwin pon dh rase teringin nk ade baby sendiri. ni aku baca, ade yg dh kahwin for 8 years, tried iui la, ivf la, urut tradisional...spent almost 50k trying to conceive. ntah kenapa sayu sgt. tak tahu lah pulak nasib aku ni macam mana. tapi aku berdoa sangat2 untuk dpt baby. H x bagi aku pk sgt, akut aku upset. tapi everytime period aku lambat, h excited sgt. adehhh...and upt memang sokmo la -ve. insyaallah one day aku buat upt ade 2 line merah tu... (ala yg macam fasha sandha tu).
tapi serious aku risau. bila baca psl pcos and cyst...mmg byk tanda2 dekat aku. hari tu aku pegi klinik jmp doctor. tny psl period cycle aku yg tak regular ni. doctor tu suruh tunggu smp setahun kahwin.tapi aku dh mcm tak boleh tunggu. sebab aku risau kalau2 ade pcos and cyst ni...sbb tanda2 kat aku obvious sgt. H suruh aku trus g jumpa gynae. ade member aku doctor pon suruh aku jmp gynae. siap dia ckp " ala GP mmg la cam tu, dia ckp takde apa2...nnt ko jmp gynae,baru tau prob sebenar. so GP ni x blh pakai sgt lah" ...erk..no offense to GP sbb tu bukan aku yg ckp, tapi member aku (dia pon doctor jugak) yang ckp.
so aku suruh doctor klinik tu tulis referral letter to gynae. siap doctor klinik tu ckp, "i can write u ref letter to gynae, but the cost will not be covered under pmcare" ...hmmm doc, i dont mind paying if it is for the child we ve been longing for. tapi aku mcm agak terkilan la cara doctor tu. kenapa nak suruh tunggu lagi if dia sendiri nmpk tanda2 tu? nak tunggu lagi teruk ke baru nk suruh jumpa gynae? sirius aku kompius disitu. balik frm klinik, aku tanya HR kt opis pmcare cover ke x bnda ni. dia tlg call kan pmcare and alhamdulillah pmcare cover for the cost.
so next month aku punya appointment. thts the earliest date yg blh jmp gynae sbb she's fully booked smp next month. pls doakan yg terbaik utk aku ya. ok lah takmo sedeh2 laaa...nk balik nk masak tomyam.haaaaaaaaa
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
i have asked lotsa things from Allah. and for some of it have been answered, syukur alhamdulillah.i am not a greedy person, i just want to have a better life, always want to improve what i have now. and last week, one of my prayers has been granted. thank you Allah. and of course to you my lovely readers, i really thank you and appreciate your du'a.
i have been wanting to share the good news since may, but until i have the official letter with me, i dared not to. so last week i got phone call from the company asking me to collect the offer letter. went there on monday, but it was not official yet, not until i have done my med examination. as i have to attend a seminar in penang last tuesday, so the med xm need to be postponed. the offer is conditional subject to the result of my med check up, i couldnt confirmed my acceptance.
went to see the doctor on Thursday and acknowledged my acceptance. alhamdullillah...i ll be joining new company after raya.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
since i got up from bed this morning, i feel so gloomy.
i must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
in fact i slept with tears in my eyes.
somehow i dont feel like sharing it with husband.
ahhh perhaps it's due to hormones too.
i dont think im pregnant (of cos i desperately want a bby)
i ll be offing to pangkor this friday.
hopefully, things will get better next week.
;;
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