Wednesday, May 14, 2014


Next week saya akan jumpa Dr.Tan for 2nd time. Tecik will approx be 12-13 weeks. i am entering my 2nd trimester next week. but morning sickness getting worse.  I am not complaining, im just jotting down my pregnancy journey here in case tecik got time to read this in future...just in case, for you to know i have already fallen in love with you tecik..hihihi.

i have read so many post of fb from the pregnancy mom group. some of them were really heart wrenching. yesterday, a fellow mommy to be had lost her baby. she went for monthly check up and doc said there was no heartbeat. At 11 weeks (just like me) she was doing just fine, no bleeding, no nauseating, no nothing. And she thought baby should be fine and healthy inside. but Allah has a better plan for her. Her baby will permanently be a resident in Jannah, and will be waiting for her there. And i forgot to mention here, she had waited for 7 years for her first pregnancy. Dear, friend, i pray you be strong and keep faith in Him. He works in His mysterious ways. Pasrah and redha, insyaallah you will get through this.

i just pray and hope that tecik is doing well inside. Jump, kick, scratch, do whatever you want to do child, i dont mind. even if that means i have to wake up every hour at night to pee, or having to vomit every morning or suffering with alot of heartburn...then so be it. i just want you to be a healthy baby throughout these 9 months. mommy and daddy really cant wait to meet you in november.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Hello there Tecik

Dah berbulan tak menulis. Bukan lah busy mana pun. cuma tak ada feel nak menulis. Tapi hari ini saya mahu berkongsi berite gumbire. 

Last november i had my surgery with Doc cantik at Pantai hosp. Tak sakit on.... sapa nak try silalah. procedure nye hari Rabu, hari khamis tu saya mcm pening2 kepala lagi..mungkin akibat ubat bius. Badan pon berangin asik nk kentut saje. bila ade pelawat, trpaksa tahan. hihihih. hari jumaat sudah discharge. Terus balik rumah mama. Hari sabtu sudah berjalan ke AEON rawang tgk wayang. hari isnin sy sudah drive kereta. tapi mc doktor bagi dekat 3 minggu. hahahah..indah nya hidup tika itu.

start 1 January 2014, sy mulakan rejim diet dgn penuh kesungguhan. selama 2 bulan sy bermusuh dgn karbohidrat, hasil nya? i lost 8 kgs in 2 months. No exercise, no starving. i likeeeee....!!! oh lupa, lepas buat OD dgn dr adilah, i stopped all clinical treatments, ubat pon saya tak amik..supplement pon sy stop except for folic acid. kenapa saya tak buat follow up treatment? IUI, IVF ke? sebabnye adelah,,,H masih kat Miri. bayangkan masa nk buat IVF tu, H offshore or on standby kat miri tak boleh balik... so sia2 je $$$.. thts why i decided not to continue treatmnt at hospital and focused more on losing weight to stabilize my hormon. 

so on march, i went to company's teambuilding at PD. Masa tu i skipped my diet sbb rasa perut lapar and nafsu suddenly memuncak (nafsu makan)... seluar jeans tu pon mcm dh nk ketat balik.konon nye lepas teambuilding nak diet baliklah. hahaha in ur dreams bebeh. masa ni selamba je i participated in all aktvt lasak main lari2 la apa la... lps teambuilding, sy terus ke legoland joined my family for an outing with the kids. dekat legoland, i really had a fun time. naik segala to nenek ride kat dlm tu...i was late about 45 days dh masa ni..but i just couldnt be bothered bcos i have irregular cycle. sbb sblm pergi teambuilding dh buat upt test tp takde pon double line. so masa pegi legoland yg sy pikir cuma...nak enjoyyy..hahah

balik legoland tu rase nak demam..pinggang rase sakit la..nak muntah la. so my colleague (nad) ajak beli upt. sebab dia pon dh delay 2 days. easy case for her sbb dia ade regular period and tak pernah missed. so menapak la both of us to klcc semata nk bli upt tu. i beli brand murah je sbb taknak kuciwa la beli digital tu mahal2..kencing atas tu and got negative...seee hw negative i am? not good so dont follow tht hahaha. after lunch i took half day and balik rumah baru tringat nk try test strip.  so i peed...haha tu pon nk cerita. lps tu i saw double line slowly emerged from the test window. mata stil kelip2 as tak percaya..could it be false alarm? ke test strip murah? sbb tak puas hati i drove to solaris and bought clear blue digital. tapi nk gak jumpa doc so i stopped by at one of the clinics there. jumpa doc...i showed him upt yg sy buat lat rumah. he said 100% i am pregnant. but i insist on blood test.takut harapan pelesu lagi. lepas amik darah i mintak dia scan, tapi x nampak apa lagi as doctor convinced me it is still too early.

so he asked me to pee..masuk toilet klinik..i did both upt yg klinik punya and the clear blue digital tht i just bought earlier. tak sampai seminit yg clearblue tu tulis pregnant 2-3 weeks..lps tu tgk yg klinik pny upt pon double line terang benderang...nangis i dlm toilet. lps balik klinik terus whats app pic yg klinik punya upt kat H...mamat tu blur gila dia x phm, and ms tu dia tgh mkn dgn his friend..dia pi tunjuk kat his friend farid. farid said, kalau ade dua line tu pregnant la...hahaha blur btol H ni. habis dah si farid tgk saya punya urine stain. hahaha sorry farid

and now i am 11 weeks with Tecik inside me. doakan saya and tecik smp selamat 9 bln ye.


if you happen to read this in future, i just want u to know that it is a long wait before u came, but it's worth every single second and ddy shed tears in front of his friend farid when he got to know about your existence..air mata jantan tau tecik, its not that easy, but it's tears of joy. i really hope and pray that someday you will grow up and appreciate all that we ve done to welcome you to this world. we ll be seeing u in 7 months. be good and hang in there tough baby. we love you to the moon..jupiter and mars


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