Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Happy Anniversary


Happy Anniversary dear Husband. 
2 years....and counting.
I love you before I met you.
And will love you till Jannah.

Monday, July 8, 2013

mengeluh...perkara biasa bila penat, letih atau tak dapat benda yang dihajati (read: doa belum makbul lagi)

ada orang mengeluh banyak kerja di pejabat.
tapi keluhan orang yang jobless lebih teruk. 
jadi siapa yang lebih layak mengeluh?

ada orang mengeluh makan banyak, bandan gemuk.
tapi ada orang mengeluh tak ada duit untuk makan.
jadi siapa yang lebih layak mengeluh?

ada orang mengeluh kena jaga parents yang dh tua.
tapi keluhan orang yang tak pernah rasa kasih saying ibu bapa lebih hiba.
jadi siapa yang lebih layak mengeluh.

ada orang mengeluh penat jaga anak.
tapi ada orang usaha berbagai cara untuk dapatkan anak.
jadi siapa lebih layak mengeluh?

dalam apa jua keadaan, kita tak layak mengeluh. cuma tarik nafas dalam2, muhasabah diri, lipat gandakan usaha, doa dan tawakal. nahhh...cubalah. hidup pasti aman, hati pasti tenang. insyaallah.

selamat menyambut ramadhan almubarak. 

Monday, July 1, 2013

My tiny little angel



Would you wear pink or would you wear blue?
i ll never know
or hear your sweet coo
or see those tiny little fingers

how the thoughts of you just linger....

it was only for 4 weeks. but you'll always be remembered. i love you forever my tiny little angel.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Bumi Allah ini luas

it has been a week since i tender my resignation. the fear of not getting any job, in near future is killing me. alhamdulillah, Allah is the most merciful, one closed the door for me, but HE opens another for me.

thank you Allah.

i went for an interview yesterday, and secured the job. alhamdulillah. but i wont be doing in house legal anymore. nope, not going to practice back.

i ll be managing contract.hahaha,a contract specialist!will be reporting direct to VP project. kecut perut jugak as this is new thing for me. but lets give it a try kan...looking forward to join the company soon. my futrue boss is actually willing to pay my notice period, but i told him i only have 3 weeks left with m.mhe.

so..bye2 legal for now. i will be back insyaallah, after i gain more experience dealing with project management and contracts.

thanks to all of u, those yg pray for me. tq sayang2 semua

Monday, February 25, 2013

less-job-less

there is posssibility of me being jobless. i have tendered my resignation letter.
i made up my mind, not considering that i havent got any job offer yet.
one month that is, from today. i am not sure i am gonna regret this or not.
but i just couldnt work with the type of person that im dealing with now.

dear lovely readers, please pray for me. so that i ll get new job.i just hate to think that i ll be jobless

Friday, February 8, 2013

as im writing this, tears keep falling down like rain.h is sleeping next to me. this week has been a rough one for me.be it work or personal.

i went for a check up with dr cantik today. we discussed on my hsg result. adhesion was spotted. she suggested tht i opt for laps procedure. sooner the better.perhaps nx week. im just so scared right now. i just had my hsg and still traumatized by the effect. drove back alone after the procedure as h's flight was only at 7.45pm. it was freakin sakit! at first it was just an uneasy feeling.mcm buat pap smear.and it turned out to be deymmm sakit. after tht i was left on tht katil besi alone for anor 30 freakin minutes. and i cried most of the time.

im having a hard time at work to add more to this ttc prob. im just so fragile lately.simple things could have touched my heart n makes me cry.

not quite sure about the laps procedure but im definitely scared.i wish i could be stronger

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Hai, saya masih disini

lama sungguh tak update.dah tak tau nak cerita apa. kadang2 dok pk, yang aku update ni, benda2 yg terlalu privacy atau tak. lepas kawen ni rase malas yg teramat nk update blog. maybe sebab tanggungjawab dh berganda. kalau dulu gosok baju untuk aku je, skarang gosok baju untuk H skali. masak pon gitu, aku ni jenis tolak batu ngn kayu je. H mmg jenis tak kisah mkn megi hari2 pon takpa...tapi aku laa yg mithali sangat tak sampai hati bg dia mkn megi hari2...klu selang sehari takpa..hahahah... eh megi2 pon bukan sebarang megi tau...ade sayur, bawang, cilipadi, telur segala..

apa lagi nak update ye?

oh aku dah tukar keje. lepas raya hari tu dh start kat tempat baru. tapi ni dh ade rase nak tukar kerja lagi.hahaha. ntah laa, aku mcm tak berapa hepi dgn beberapa perkara kat sini. terlalu rama bizi bodi ni aku rimas juge. aku ni style, kau buat kerja kau, aku buat kerja aku. if u need help, then ask! i ll try to help. tapi kalu org ske cucuk2 ni...me dont like. jadi kalu sesapa rase nk offer aku kerja, boleh email aku. dr jawatan bibik sampai la ke jawatan ceo, aku x kisah, nnt aku bg cv aku.

lupa plak, 29 oct aritu anniversary aku yg pertama. H bawak kuar mkn, hadiah anniversary pon in advance aku dh pilih. hahahaha. nasib laa dapek laki tak lomantik...x larat nk guide dh...janji dia hepi, aku hepi udoh lerr...bwk aku kuar g mkn pon aku hepi.

cite pasal makan, lately ni aku makan byk gila macam org bela saka kekdahnye. aku taktaula ni efek hormon ke apa kan...but since im on fertility treatment, ntah hape pil aku kna mkn, aku rasa sebab tu kot selera membuak... pasrah je laaa...

oh cerita pasal fertility treatment, i started off quite early, 7 months lps kawen sudah jumpe gynae. bukan aku tak sabar (eh mmg tak sabar nk dpt bby), tapui sbb since akwen hormon tak menentu....irregular period. so H insist aku jumpe gymae time tu. and luckily we went for an early test. so taklah aku buang masa tanpa usaha dgn fertility treatment. ok laa im  diagnosed with PCOS. sapa tak tau boleh tanya pokcik gugel :)

the thing with fertility/infertility treatment is always been an emotional journey utk aku dan H. ade masa2 emo tak tentu hala. aku ler yg emo, H tukang pujuk. tapi aku tau deep inside he's trying hard to control his emotion. bile every time tak berjaya, aku mcm down tahap gaban...tapi this cycle aku rase cm aku dh tough sket...sket je laaa...tp xde laa nk nagis bagai mcm sblm2 ni. kadang2 rase bersalah yang amat. ye laa kan aku yg prob. huahuahua... aritu cerekarama kt tv3, anzalna, fauziah ghous dgn laki tu apa nama ntah lupa... first wife x leh pregnant, so suh laki kawen blk dgn ex gf dulu. tahan emosi je aku tgk ceta tu weyyyy. and rase nk lempang jantan tak sadar diri tu. tp aku senyap je laa sbb tgh tahan air mata. H mcm tau2 plak...terus dia ckp.."haaaaa jgn nk suh dia buat benda bukan2 mcm 1st wife dlm ceta ni" ....ehhhh dlm hati aku, bile plak aku nk bg dia kawen lagi satu kannnnnn...perasan...chait.

tapi...andai kata..andai katalahh...satu hari nanti aku terpaksa berkorban...ntah laa. huishhh takmo pk lah gitu. kan dh bergenang air mata ni. tadi baru je kata tough skit skang...chait. ok pergi makan! food will make u happy, regardless!

kena lebih muhasabah diri. amalan terlalu kurang....nak minta dgn Tuhan pon sangat segan. tapi minta juga. jd ya, kna lebih kan amalan. tingkat prestasi, elakkan kontroversi..ok bai

Thursday, August 2, 2012

no more sad story...

as today is the beginning of a new leaves for baby IYAD NAUFAL.

congratulation my dearest friend nur mazlina and husband, norazman.

cant wait to visit the newborn :)


Tuesday, July 31, 2012

losing little snowdrop

a dear friend who just had a miscarriage...

The world may never notice 
If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom, 
Or even pause to wonder 
If the petals fall too soon. 
But every life that ever forms, 
Or ever comes to be, 
Touches the world in some small way 
For all eternity. 
The little one we long for 
Was swiftly here and gone. 
But the love that was then planted 
Is a light that still shines on. 
And though our arms are empty, 
Our hearts know what to do. 
Every beating of our hearts 


Monday, July 23, 2012

testing

just installed this app.will write more later

;;

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